Bunking in Military College Jhelum

“People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those doing it”

George Bernard Shaw’s take on Bunking in Military College Jhelum

The scribe of this blog has heard rumors that whenever an ‘Alamgirian’ (a former student of Military College Jhelum, Sarai Alamgir) is considered for the promotion to one star General (i.e. Brigadier), a secret file is opened to find out if he ever bunked during his stay at Military College Jhelum. If it transpires that he did not, his name is not considered for promotion.

Military College Jhelum (‘MCJ’) initially called as ‘King George Royal Indian Military School, started taking young cadets in 1925. It was built primarily to benefit the young wards of Royal Indian Army. It has been considered a prime institution for inducting young potential officers in Pakistan Armed forces. The cadets are subjected to rigorous routine comprising studying and physical training. The morale of young cadets is such that they always consider the college activities to be less stringent hence, they have devised their own ways to train themselves very hard.

Bunking in the context of MCJ, primarily means a nocturnal activity regularly undertaken by brilliant cadets to check on the food quality of the surrounding civilian areas under the guise of ‘Reconnaissance’ missions.

It is somehow a mystery that the noble cause of cadets has been viewed with abject disdain by the College Administration. They try every trick of the trade to stop this activity including bribing civilians to report/inform on the young cadets.

Dr Signal Fraud, a famous psycho-analyst considers bunking to be primordial instinct. In his famous article “Conscious Bunking in Sub-Conscious Military College Jhelum” he writes;

…it happens because the conscious cadets, over whelmed by science subjects, on the urges of subliminal messages of subsiding effects produced by the subsidized food, try to subjugate the subconscious demands by undertaking an activity-well hidden from Subaidars of MCJ- to check on the possibility of substandard food sold, in the suburbs by the subservient people …”

In a recent study concluded by a group of famous scientists, it has been indicated that the lack of Vitamin P (Paratha), Vitamin T (Tea), Vitamin M (Malayee), Vitamin G (Gajjar ka Hulwa) and Vitamin C (Chicken karahi and Cinema) are the main causes of bunking in MCJ.

According to Rioters, in 2007, Finance Manager of Hotel Tulip Jhelum, Mr.Aamir Aijaz Qureshi, signed a secret MoU with the College Prefect of MCJ. It was discovered that In order to boost his hotel sales, Mr. Aamir offered 31.43% (after charging 60% Service charges on the original bill) discount to the brave cadets who dared visited his hotel after evening. The ‘MoU’ was confiscated from Ms Ayyan Ali in 2015. Mr. Aamir has been on the constant run from the College Adjutant, who has put him on ECL (Extremely Controversial Lad).

The heroes of young cadets are ‘rebels’ with or without a cause. Cadets who ‘Bunk’ regularly are looked up to as models of courage, perseverance and adventure. They are the source of stories of charting forbidden lands, tasting forbidden foods and defying prowling college staff. Those who are caught are subjected to ‘Extra Drills’, which I assure you has nothing to do with drill and has everything to do with famous Japanese/Nazi torture.

One thing which bothers me is that a person has a ‘right to appeal’ when the dictums of judgments passed are not according to his sense of fairness and in his opinion against the facts of case. But where is the ‘right of appeal’ when the ‘Extra Drill’ is awarded, one sided, without giving any opportunity of being heard. I suggest that a ‘Committee of Appeals’ should be formed in MCJ headed by the great guys who Bunk regularly. A cadet aggrieved by the judgment should have a right to appeal after paying nominal Court charges via few trips to ‘Canteen’.

The story of my first bunk

The story of my first ‘Bunk’ has been recorded in the annals of history, however, for the readers who have lost the ability to read due to incessant swiping of their smart phone and watching nonstop cable TV, the event happened in late 1988. I was growing wary of the nocturnal exploits and subsequent boasting of my ‘class fellows. I requested Mr.Shakeel Rehmani, my dorm fellow to take me to the next bunk.

People who don’t know Mr.Shakeel should beware that he is/was the most insufferable, loud mouthed athlete. The result being that we were constantly having tug of verbal wars. Mr. Shakeel sensed an opportunity. In agreeing to give me a chance to bunk, he found an opportunity to get even with me. All the day, he kept on teasing me, waiting for an opportunity, to throw me out of the group in case he found me replying.

At 11 pm, we dressed for the occasion. The weather being cold, I took extra precautions and ended up in wearing extra jacket of Mr. Shakeel. As we went out from Tipu house, we tip toed to the Sports ground. It was pitch dark and I heard sound of fresh spring. On further thoughts, it transpired to be the sound of my own heartbeat. Nervous and excited, I started to make a small talk. It irritated Mr. Shakeel, who said that sound waves travel far in cold weather and some people in Gujrat city might be hearing my voice. I hope Mr. Shakeel has ended in NASA due to his novel approach in science and ended up in being bound to the trip to Pluto.

At the end of playing grounds we crossed the boundary wall. Unluckily, to make the matters worse. My foot (boot included) grazed the Jaw of Mr. Shakeel, who vowed not to take me on another mission. We travelled by the road along the upper Jhelum canal, crossed the bridge and ended up at first Truck driver’s hotel. We ordered Omelets Fry, Malayee (butter) and tea. The meal was very delicious. We returned by 01:00 a.m. I was happy that at last my name was included in the ‘List of Braves’.

Herodotus, recounts many further exploits of STJ. In his book he tells of an instance when once STJ was caught 2 times in one night and was commanded to appear before the Chief Instructor ‘Julius Caesar Zargham Haider Naqvi’. To make the matters worse, the ‘CI’ was STJ’s father’s course mate.

For those who are reading, I have few questions

Are you an ‘Alamgirian’?

How many times did you bunk?

Do you have anything interesting to share?